, , , , , ,

Summer is here, and with it comes another exciting slate of comic-book films, starting with Avengers: Age of Ultron and ending with inevitable disappointment.


Pictured: Inevitable disappointment.

But while some of these films will invariably live up to the hype, some will more likely leave us temporarily entertained, but ultimately unsatisfied – and others will straight up suck balls.

This is an article about the latter.

Tom and I came up in an era when CGI was only in its infancy. So, while the potential for comic book films could be explored, and even successfully executed, it took producers and directors with a respect for the source material – directors like Richard Donner and Tim Burton, for example – to truly make it work. In the 80s and 90’s, however, that respect was missing, replaced by an insatiable desire to cash in on the popularity of the genre before it fizzled out.


Two perquisites for a cash-grab: A dystopia and a chiseled jaw.

As a result, riding into the theater or the video store on a wave of excitement – and in some cases, wearing a cape made from a beach towel I tucked into my shirt band – I got to see some of the shittiest comic book movies ever released.

This crapstorm, I thought to myself as I watched comic book films evolve, would merely be a passing phase, the darkness before the dawn of a new era of amazing movies featuring the heroes I loved. So you can imagine my surprise when in doing the research for this list, it turned out that a large amount of the worst comic book movies ever made were made recently.


There’s a telltale sign that a comic movie is gonna stink, but I’ll let you figure out what it is.

The problem with modern comic book films is that, while the technology now exists to make them better than ever before, more often than not they feel like the cynical cash – grabs of yesteryear. That’s because in Hollywood, for every Joss Whedon and Sam Rami, there are 10 Brett Ratners, and for every Kevin Feige, there are 10 Tom Rothmans: Hacks with no idea of the value behind these awesome characters and amazing stories, and executives looking to sell toys before creating something awesome.

Starting this week, Tom and I will look deep into the abyss of comic movie hell, and discuss where these movies went wrong, from the film’s of our youth, and the modern dreck that makes us both cringe. In the meantime, I have to find a towel that won’t look stupid around the neck of a grown man.

Tom here.

The last time we did a list it was about hip-hop. It took months of effort, a lot of argument and Tom and I got into a slapfight. Having learned nothing from that experience, we’re doing another list.

One thing that became obvious to me when compiling this, is how bad these films got. Like I thought I knew what would be on this list, and what was bad, and then I started watching these movies back to back and I felt like Morgan Spurlock after three years of McDonalds. The films that we are talking about are abysmal. We hope you enjoy.