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A few days ago, Mimi and Nikko, two of the “stars” of the ratchet parade known as Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta, set the internets ablaze with the “leak” of a sex tape. As usual, this is a concerted marketing effort on the part of two fame seekers who, in the absence of any discernible skills and talent, have decided to sell their bodies to the night, a la Roxanne.

We’ve seen this work in the not too distant past – It’s the only reason anyone knows who Kim Kardashian is – so it’s no wonder these two have decided to give it a go. But, as is the case when a person decides to film a sex act and place it online, these two didn’t think it through all the way. Anyone who has seen this movie before knows that this will not do much for their careers – outside of causing a large amount of shower rod-related sex injuries.

First, African Americans don’t fare too well in the sex-tape department – at least as a springboard to greater success. Sure, Kim Kardashian became a household name, but when’s the last time you saw Ray J anywhere?

Ray-J's last known appearance was on this meme.

Ray-J’s last known appearance was on this meme.

And, lest we forget, the gambit backfired on Montana Fishburne as well, who shortly after her well-publicized sex tape release, disappeared from the public eye altogether, and thoroughly regrets her transgression.

Second, the whole world knows that this “leak” is just a front for a jump into pornography. See how I put “leak” in quotes? So is every news source that’s reporting this story. The entire world knows that these tapes were never meant for private eyes. The Kim K sex tape had an intro, for heaven’s sake! While we suspended our disbelief once (or twice, if you count Paris Hilton’s dalliance with porn, though that one seems legit by today’s standards), no one has bought a leak story since that day – just ask Farrah Abraham.

Now that the magician’s secrets have been revealed, people just see these fame seekers for what they are- pornographers. And, even though millions of people watch porn, they still look down on pornographers; it’s just the way it is.

Someone needs to get these two a copy of Boogie Nights.

I won’t go into any moral recitation here, mainly because I don’t believe that two people having sex and filming it is wrong in and of itself – that’s between you, the other person, and the guy in the Pulp Fiction gimp suit you paid to stand in the corner silently. Besides that, anyone who’d willingly sign up for a reality show already exists in a shame-proof bubble that no amount of finger wagging can pop.

Need proof? Before making her porn debut, Mimi Faust was willing to go on TV and admit that she had sex with this guy:

Stevie J, seen here mentoring four turtles in the ways of the ninja.

Stevie J, seen here mentoring four turtles in the ways of the ninja.

All I’m saying is, if you’d like a ticket to fame and fortune and you have no skills outside of an ability to look ignorant on television, porn will not do you any favors. Kids, that ain’t the way.

From the looks of it, the only people who are gonna make any serious bank off this latest sex tape are the good people at Lowe’s.