, , , ,

Its like they never heard of Sir Mix-a-Lot.

Pressed with the challenge of Mitt Romney, Barack Obama was forced to pull out the big guns: Bill Clinton and Michelle Obama’s butt. Many were impressed with her speech, but that only can affect people listening to her and not staring at her deformity.

It’s not like it hasn’t been rocky so far. She innocently grew a garden in the back of the White House only to be accused of using fake plants that also were contaminated with lead. She sometimes wears nice shoes while doing unprecedented First Lady things like going on vacation or working for charities. She is too fat. Or maybe too muscular. Her kids are ghetto. She’s angry (it’s probably the eyebrows). But one of the more bizarre criticisms has been about the First Lady’s posterior (aka the First Cakes).

Apparently… its too big. (Not according to this guy.)

It’s a conservative meme now. It means that a 5′ 11″, 160 lb. woman is obviously too heavy to be attractive.

My God, the woman is hideous!

It’s insulting of course. The men that hate her most have paraded the worst lineup of broke-down ‘Beckies’ the world has ever seen. Don’t believe me?

In red, Sally Priebus.

Ann Coulter

Ann Romney

Callista Gingrich (two years younger than Michelle, BTW)

Not only is it insulting, but it’s worse than the scrutiny previous First Ladies have endured. Hilary Clinton was so disagreeable that the White House staff began a policy of keeping all First Ladies isolated. (The tip of the iceberg.) Laura Bush killed a guy by running a stop sign in an incident where she was never tested for alcohol nor charged with anything. Nancy Reagan was known for… um…


In fact, studios used those skills to woo potential actors into contracts by setting them up on ‘dates’ with Nancy. Also major decisions were made by Reagan because Nancy brought in psychics. Somehow, Michelle Obama is worse than any of these other women. And worst of all, she has a large bottom.

It doesn’t matter that half of the First Ladies I’ve ever seen look like the CryptKeeper, or Michelle seems intelligent, capable, and a complete upgrade from Mary Todd Lincoln when you’re making any historical parallels. I say, let us rejoice in the First Cakes. Let us bask in them.